I hate admitting to being a recluse at times but I have not been up to par at all this past week. All I know is that I have to kick myself into gear. Tomorrow I am going to a nature shoot which should help. I cannot use the weather as an excuse anymore since it was really nice most of this week. I think maybe I am afraid of going to the clubs because I do not want to be near smokers because I quit and scared I might pick one up again. Since it took me like ten times to finally quit, I am afraid of being exposed at all. I guess I really do understand better now what an addiction is like. I have claimed for years I do not understand alcoholism or narcotic abuse, which I don’t. But now I think I can see the reasons for such behaviors. They are not rational. So even an intelligent, educated person such as myself, can make stupid mistakes and be forgiven. I need to find some other places to take pictures besides night clubs perhaps. I have some ideas about taking model photos in a studio and outdoor settings.